I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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