are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
