She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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