My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i came on her dog
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
