piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
