He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize