dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
