Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
