I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
