is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
