One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
