Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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