Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
