Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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