is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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