He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Reggie can tackle my bush.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
do nipples grow back?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
