im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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