Fuck appropriateness.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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