some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
