There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
