I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
