Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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