Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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