my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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