Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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