**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also, beer. Big fan.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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