Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
