Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
