I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
