in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I look better un-naked...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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