I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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