So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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