you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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