Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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