I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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