K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize