Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
