Jerry, you need to find god
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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