It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize