You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What a dumb baby whore.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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