I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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