she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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