id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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