I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
