i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
