She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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