yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
