This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
