We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
