My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize