marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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