direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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