I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
