I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
