Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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