You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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