If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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