I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
