so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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