my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
