I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
