What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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