Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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