so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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