I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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