In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
