3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
