i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize