its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
