I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
