Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
