i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
